This is where I will post any writing prompts I do, or snippets, as I like to call them, that I jot down. Snippets are usually just scenes that pop in my head that aren't going anywhere. It's good for practice and it helps clear my mind of clutter. I hope you enjoy them.
WP #1- What goes up must come down
“What goes up must come down.
Truer words were never spoken.
Something so simple. Something everyone knows. If it's not a ball tossed, it's so often overlooked.
From the lake evaporating over here for the rain that pours over there to a young woman's form sagging with age. It's a fact. It's a cycle.
The steady heart rate that rises, for passion, excitement, fear, anticipation, exhilaration, the body's work or pain will go down again as the body, heart and mind relaxes again or fades from life.
The "perfect" woman's emotions rise to be ruthlessly pushed back down in their place.
The student's hope flood to the brim to trickle down with each failure, each insult.
The child's self-esteem innocently at it's peak gets battered and bruised down to nothing by the careless parents in it's life.
The happiness, the good will always fall, always lull. But the cycle, the cycle rules all.
The rainbow climbs up the sky and falls to the earth.
The fear that rises, like bile in the throat, will settle when it’s faced, when it’s past, when time has shaded the events.
The failures rise in a stack, the hopelessness a paper weight on top, but the canny mind learns, burns with desire and with each passing failure, each lesson learned leads to the accomplishment that trumps it all. Hope rises as the failure lessens.
The child with the home life of oppression and dread feels the hopelessness, the worthlessness begin to drop down as adulthood looms closer. Freedom, a new chance, a new life, a new person ahead.”
Her voice rang high and clear. A voice reflective of the woman, strong, passionate, optimistic and confident. Her eyes touched others’ in the room. Her mouth was strong and firm, with a hint of softness that invited curiosity and hope. Millian held the audience, captivated them and wrapped them of a beautiful, strong bubble of her beliefs. She could, would, win this.
“What goes up must come down.
A law of gravity, that to many things holds true. A law life often chooses to refuse.
The sad, retching truth stares us in the face everyday. Remove yourself from the glitz, the shine. Leave Hollywood behind. Forget the movies with their happily ever afters. We go to the movies to get a break, to live a dream for an hour and a half, not to see reality.
A child forgotten, abuses, abandoned, hurt, broken mind, body, and spirit may never return to the innocents, the contentment, the hope filled life God had intended. Turning to the streets, crime, a life of self doubt, denial, and fear the pain and evil root and filled to brimming in that young life my never ebb, my never leave.
Those who are successful may never fail. Those who fail may never rise to glory.
The plane that crashes may never fly again. The passengers may never get up and walk away.
The fear may stay in the mind and heart. The Hopeful, bright and shinning light might shine bright enough to never be squashed out. The student may always fail, the student may always win. The woman may let her emotions take hold. For better or worse life can not be predicted through such a simplistic phrase or the starry eyes of the bleeding heart optimists, such as my opponent, here.”
His voice held authority. His argument rang true because he believed it. Richard wished for a sip of water. He knew his opponent’s ability to hold the audience in her hands. It didn’t truly matter who won a simple show debate for the students in the large auditorium, but he wanted it. He wanted the win like the sweet tangy taste of a woman’s kiss after her sip of wine.
Millian slid her gaze across the stage to find Richard’s gaze already on her, his smirk both a challenge and a show of his strong ego. The small scar on his upper lip adding daring. She smirked in return, with confidence shinning in her stormy see blue eyes. The standing judge snagged her attention.
The noise and bustle of the auditorium emptying clearly carried backstage. Richard and Millian entered from opposite sides of the stage and strode toward each other. At a respectable distance Millian stopped and her smile spread in warm welcome. Richard kept walking until he was close enough to wrap her in his arm. He swung her in a circle before setting her down to capture her mouth with his. Best. Kiss. Ever. He could take care of the wine part later.
“Millie, you just don’t fight fair with you seductress looks that captivate the audience and deafens them to your optimistic, at-the-end-of-the-rainbow view. You only won because three fourth the kids out there were hormone driven males.”
Millie threw her head back and laughed as Richard set her feet on the ground. The sound was full of a love of life. “Ah, you never complain when you are on my team.”
“ We are almost always on the same team.” He flashed his lightening quick smile. “I like it better that way. Now,” Richard leaned down for a lighter, swifter kiss, slid his hands down Millie’s arm and linked his fingers with hers. “We have dinner reservations in a few hours. Let’s go home and get ready.”
Hand in hand they walked out into the sunlight. One leaning over to whisper in the other’s ear. The other leaning over for a light nibble on the ear. As the passion rose, Richard and Millie headed home to sate it and let it fall again.
WP#2- "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” repeated Alice.
“Why is a What?!” yelped the Mad Hatter.
“Careful. She’s stark raven mad!” cried the March Hare.
The boy and girl collapsed into giggles on the floor as the T.V. reveled more of their beloved Alice and her wild adventure through wonderland. Makayla and Maliki Dostrea were twins. Both had the raven black hair of there father and the clear water blue eyes of their mother. At five years old Makayla considered herself the leading most expert on Alice in Wonderland. At 2 minutes older, Maliki figured her knew even more about it.
Sitting on the couch behind their children, Alix and Anna Dostrea paid more attention to their children’s reaction than the movie. Alix reached for more popcorn. “Darling?”
“Yes?”
“Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“There is no actual answer to that riddle, me dear.” Anna answered lazily.
Alix stared at her for a moment. “Well,” he harrumphed, “Don’t you just have an answer for everything.”
Anna finally looked over, the laughter in her eyes meeting the teasing in his. “Of course.” she remarked pleasantly. She reached to grab more pop corn then looked down, disappointed. “You’ve gone and gobble up all the snack again. Jeesh. I’ll never know how I put up with such an oinker.”
“Really?” He asked, stretching the word out. “Well, then. I guess I should get off my lazy bum and get more.”
“He, he, he. Yes, my little henchman. You should.” Humor danced around her face as she handed her husband the bowl then turned her attention back to the T.V. The next thing she was on the floor being thoroughly tickled.
Maliki had made sure to cushion her body so his arms to the bounce of her head and not the floor. He roared the evil laugh he had taught his kids during bed time stories. His lightning quick hands dashing to Anna’s neck, thighs, tummy, and wrist too fast for her to stop him. Her laughter peeled through the room catching the kids attention.
Deciding combat more interesting than the Red Queen’s roses, Maliki and Makayla jumped in to tickle attack Anna’s feet.
After nightlights flickered on and good nights had been passed out to Maliki, Makayla, Bubba the monkey and Fee fee the unicorn Alix and Anna sat at the little round kitchen table, in the glow of the stove light, sipping pale wine. Alex absently rubbed one of the feet Anna had propped on his legs. He studied his love, with her head tipped back, eyes closed, a slight smile on her lips. He cherished this time they took every night to relax together.
“Anna?”
“Hmmm?”
“You know why a raven is like a writing desk?”
Opening her eyes, she grinned at her husband. Not unlike the Cheshire cat, he thought. “No. Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“They both have quills.”
She giggled and decided wine, a foot rub and silly talk with Alix was the absolute best way to unwind.
“Poe wrote on both?” she suggested.
“Because both has a B and Neither has an N?” he returned.
He’d puzzled her, he could see it. Her head tilted to the left slightly, as if she were rolling thoughts around up there. Her eyes clouded, grey creeping into her brilliant blue. “Huh?”
“You’ll get it, my love. You’ll get it, eventually.” Placing her feet on the tile floor, he rose and held out a hand to her. “ Let’s go to bed.”
Anna emptied her glass, placed her hand in his, and walked with him upstairs.
**A source I referenced: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1173/why-is-a-raven-like-a-writing-desk
WP#3- "LOOK! BIRDS!"
"Look! Birds!"
The excited shout from their seven year old brother startled Ashley and Todd Meadly out of yet another argument. John leaned over the railing that surrounded the local park's pond. His eyes lit with joy, his delicate blond hair blew around his face. Funny, Ashley hadn't noticed how bad he needed a haircut before now. His round cheeks were pink from the kiss of fall winds, his smile innocent as only a kid's can be.
"Look. He's having real fun now and it's been too long since he had it. Let's drop it and we'll talk about this after he's asleep." Without waiting for an answer Ashley went to join John at the rail. Todd stood, hands stuff in his pockets, watching them while he gained control of his frustration. As she stood there telling little John about ducks, laughing as their tail feathers went up and their head below the surface, he was struck again by their resemblance to each other and to his parents.
It was mom's blond hair they shared. Her nose that turned up a bit at the ends. Ashley had inherited mom's eye shape, but that green, the way they lit with every emotion, was all dad. It looked like John would have that slight clef in his chin. Dad always thought his as very manly. Todd didn't know weather to laugh or cry. It was like a punch to the gut, he decided. You knew it was coming, but that didn't make it hurt less. He'd laugh about dad's kwirks some other time.
"Hey, John-John. You wanna give those ducks a bread snack?"
With John cheerfully quaking between, Ashley and Todd's gazes met over his head. Yeah, Ashley thought, they were no where near done fighting.
Ashley paced the living room fighting the urge to yank at her hair. After they'd finished visiting the park they'd had dinner, came home and tucked John in. Though McDonald's was John's favorite place, it was the third time they had eaten there this week. And it was only Thursday. Like it or not she and Todd were going to have to start feeding John something nutritional.
Taking three deep breaths Ashley sat on the couch, pulled a Snickers bar out of her pocket and took a fortifying bite.
"Todd, please calm down. I hardly think my having a boyfriend is anything for you to be so upset about.I'm not running off to get married."
"Now is a bad time for you to be worrying about any kind of social life, Ashley. You can't just shirk responsibilities, here. You have to pitch in." Todd sat on the coffee table, so he could face her, and bit off some of her candy bar. Her glare almost made him smile, but the headache tap dancing through is skull kept the spot light.
"I have been pitching in and I will continue to do so." He opened his mouth to speak, but she needed her say. She leaned forward in earnest, straining to make him understand. "No, shut up a minute. I'm going to school, I'm working the phones at that deplorable lawyers office, I'm sharing in the house work, I gave up drama and volunteering. What else is it you want me to do? Huh?"
For the first time in months he saw it. His vibrant, energizer bunny of a sister was strained and running low. There were shadows showing under her eyes, a pallor in her cheeks now that the day's make up was wearing off. He wanted to comfort, to smooth this whole thing over, but he was right. It didn't matter anyway, she barreled on before he could speak.
"Nick is a good guy, Todd. It's not like I'm shirking my responsibilities to run off with him. we she each other at the office. He's an intern, for Christ sakes! He has even less free time than I do. I need someone....someone neutral to talk to, to forget about life's difficulties with for a little while. If I can't have that I'll go crazy. Slowly, quietly crazy."
"Ha! You've never been quiet about anything." Her answering smile didn't reach her eyes. "I'm not saying you're irresponsible or that you can't talk to someone other than me, but, Damn-it Ashley, it doesn't look good We have John. He's our responsibility now..."
"I know that."
"You don't act like it some times. I know you're only 17 and I know having to do what your 18 year old brother tells you to grates on your nerves sometimes, but It doesn't matter. We make sacrifices. I dropped out of law school, took on two jobs. I help around here too. The court made me responsible and you act like it doesn't matter, like nothing's changed...."
But that was as far as he got. That was the straw that broke her back and unleashed sweet, well raised Ashley's temper. In one swift move she shoved Todd backwards, off the coffee table and was on her feet vibrating with fury. Her eyes went from the color of soft spring fields to bright, polished emeralds.
"You think I don't remember mom and dad are dead! they're DEAD! And, what? You think I forgot?" she raged, her breathing heavy.
Todd stood now, slowly. Perhaps he'd chosen the wrong words. He watched the fire in her eyes frost over. Only then did he see below the anger to the hurt. Yeah, he thought, way to go big bro.
" Or do you just think I don't care?" she whispered.
They stood in taunt silence, staring at one another. It had been 8 months since their parents had been shot for cash and a few baubles. Whoever killed them for so few items never knew they were on their way back to the Jag William Meadly had saved half his life for. The court dates for custody, the social workers regular visits, the stress rubbed their grief raw.
Todd had wanted to be a lawyer. He rarely found himself at a loss for words, as he did now. He didn't think he could share the grief. It'd surely rip him apart. He had no words to take her grief and feared the burden to heavy in any case. The picture of John's happy face today floated in his mind. A direct contrast to his sister's devastated one. She stared at him, waiting.
"Look. Birds."
Ashley cocked her head to the side, utter confusion clear on her face. After 10 long seconds of silences she gave a strangled laugh. "What?"
"Birds."
"What in all God's creation are you talking about?"
Maybe it was her confusion and you've-lost-your-mind look. Maybe it was the stress of the past 8 months. Maybe it was the break his Statement had caused in the tight wire tension in the room. Maybe he really was crazy. Whatever the reason, Todd cracked up. He laughed until it spread to Ashley. They laughed until they forgot why they were laughing. Which touched off more laughter. They laughed until they collapsed to the floor together.
From that night on, whenever too much tension crackled in the air too long or the moment was too quiet, too awkward, one of the Meadlys would say "Look! Bird!"
sorry for any mistakes, my comps keys are sticking. :)
Random thought into words:
How do you get past it
What determines family?
Surely it's not only the blood that runs in our veins, but the feelings that pump through our hearts.
Family tends to be the most influential in our lives, right? Do we not crave their attention, their approval, their love more desperately than others we meet along the way? They have the power to make us crazy happy with a simple gesture and break our hearts with a careless word or action.
It's said we tend to hurt the ones we love the most. Perhaps that's because when you love you open your heart to everything.
So, how do you find that line of too far when you love. How do you move past hurt to forgiveness. Prayer seems the best solution. What about when that doesn't to work?
What is the answer when someone you love, a family member, someone you grew up with, admired, craved approval and pride from...What happens when they cut you so deep you have a hard time forgiving. Stuck in a place where you know you could never hate them, never truly turn away from them if their need was great, yet unable to move on, move past a hurt that has drawn blood from the heart you wear on your sleeve for them.
Worse, what do you do when the last thing between you is a bone of contention, hurt and unresolved resentment?
Take it as a lesson, perhaps?
"I've heard it said/ that people come into our lives/ for a reason/ bringing something we must learn/ and we are lead/ to those/ who help/ us most to grow/ if we let them/ and we help them in return./ Well, I don't know if I believe that's true/ but I know I'm who I am today/ because I knew you.../
~"For Good" from Wicked~
Is that what we are to do? Take the good and the bad as lessons learned? Surely, it's an intelligent notion. One I can't and don't want to argue with. But is that is? If we are raped? If we are abused? If we are betrayed in the deepest? Is that all? It was a lesson? Move on.
How? How do you get past the hurt, the pain, the shame, the anger?
WP #1- What goes up must come down
“What goes up must come down.
Truer words were never spoken.
Something so simple. Something everyone knows. If it's not a ball tossed, it's so often overlooked.
From the lake evaporating over here for the rain that pours over there to a young woman's form sagging with age. It's a fact. It's a cycle.
The steady heart rate that rises, for passion, excitement, fear, anticipation, exhilaration, the body's work or pain will go down again as the body, heart and mind relaxes again or fades from life.
The "perfect" woman's emotions rise to be ruthlessly pushed back down in their place.
The student's hope flood to the brim to trickle down with each failure, each insult.
The child's self-esteem innocently at it's peak gets battered and bruised down to nothing by the careless parents in it's life.
The happiness, the good will always fall, always lull. But the cycle, the cycle rules all.
The rainbow climbs up the sky and falls to the earth.
The fear that rises, like bile in the throat, will settle when it’s faced, when it’s past, when time has shaded the events.
The failures rise in a stack, the hopelessness a paper weight on top, but the canny mind learns, burns with desire and with each passing failure, each lesson learned leads to the accomplishment that trumps it all. Hope rises as the failure lessens.
The child with the home life of oppression and dread feels the hopelessness, the worthlessness begin to drop down as adulthood looms closer. Freedom, a new chance, a new life, a new person ahead.”
Her voice rang high and clear. A voice reflective of the woman, strong, passionate, optimistic and confident. Her eyes touched others’ in the room. Her mouth was strong and firm, with a hint of softness that invited curiosity and hope. Millian held the audience, captivated them and wrapped them of a beautiful, strong bubble of her beliefs. She could, would, win this.
“What goes up must come down.
A law of gravity, that to many things holds true. A law life often chooses to refuse.
The sad, retching truth stares us in the face everyday. Remove yourself from the glitz, the shine. Leave Hollywood behind. Forget the movies with their happily ever afters. We go to the movies to get a break, to live a dream for an hour and a half, not to see reality.
A child forgotten, abuses, abandoned, hurt, broken mind, body, and spirit may never return to the innocents, the contentment, the hope filled life God had intended. Turning to the streets, crime, a life of self doubt, denial, and fear the pain and evil root and filled to brimming in that young life my never ebb, my never leave.
Those who are successful may never fail. Those who fail may never rise to glory.
The plane that crashes may never fly again. The passengers may never get up and walk away.
The fear may stay in the mind and heart. The Hopeful, bright and shinning light might shine bright enough to never be squashed out. The student may always fail, the student may always win. The woman may let her emotions take hold. For better or worse life can not be predicted through such a simplistic phrase or the starry eyes of the bleeding heart optimists, such as my opponent, here.”
His voice held authority. His argument rang true because he believed it. Richard wished for a sip of water. He knew his opponent’s ability to hold the audience in her hands. It didn’t truly matter who won a simple show debate for the students in the large auditorium, but he wanted it. He wanted the win like the sweet tangy taste of a woman’s kiss after her sip of wine.
Millian slid her gaze across the stage to find Richard’s gaze already on her, his smirk both a challenge and a show of his strong ego. The small scar on his upper lip adding daring. She smirked in return, with confidence shinning in her stormy see blue eyes. The standing judge snagged her attention.
The noise and bustle of the auditorium emptying clearly carried backstage. Richard and Millian entered from opposite sides of the stage and strode toward each other. At a respectable distance Millian stopped and her smile spread in warm welcome. Richard kept walking until he was close enough to wrap her in his arm. He swung her in a circle before setting her down to capture her mouth with his. Best. Kiss. Ever. He could take care of the wine part later.
“Millie, you just don’t fight fair with you seductress looks that captivate the audience and deafens them to your optimistic, at-the-end-of-the-rainbow view. You only won because three fourth the kids out there were hormone driven males.”
Millie threw her head back and laughed as Richard set her feet on the ground. The sound was full of a love of life. “Ah, you never complain when you are on my team.”
“ We are almost always on the same team.” He flashed his lightening quick smile. “I like it better that way. Now,” Richard leaned down for a lighter, swifter kiss, slid his hands down Millie’s arm and linked his fingers with hers. “We have dinner reservations in a few hours. Let’s go home and get ready.”
Hand in hand they walked out into the sunlight. One leaning over to whisper in the other’s ear. The other leaning over for a light nibble on the ear. As the passion rose, Richard and Millie headed home to sate it and let it fall again.
WP#2- "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” repeated Alice.
“Why is a What?!” yelped the Mad Hatter.
“Careful. She’s stark raven mad!” cried the March Hare.
The boy and girl collapsed into giggles on the floor as the T.V. reveled more of their beloved Alice and her wild adventure through wonderland. Makayla and Maliki Dostrea were twins. Both had the raven black hair of there father and the clear water blue eyes of their mother. At five years old Makayla considered herself the leading most expert on Alice in Wonderland. At 2 minutes older, Maliki figured her knew even more about it.
Sitting on the couch behind their children, Alix and Anna Dostrea paid more attention to their children’s reaction than the movie. Alix reached for more popcorn. “Darling?”
“Yes?”
“Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“There is no actual answer to that riddle, me dear.” Anna answered lazily.
Alix stared at her for a moment. “Well,” he harrumphed, “Don’t you just have an answer for everything.”
Anna finally looked over, the laughter in her eyes meeting the teasing in his. “Of course.” she remarked pleasantly. She reached to grab more pop corn then looked down, disappointed. “You’ve gone and gobble up all the snack again. Jeesh. I’ll never know how I put up with such an oinker.”
“Really?” He asked, stretching the word out. “Well, then. I guess I should get off my lazy bum and get more.”
“He, he, he. Yes, my little henchman. You should.” Humor danced around her face as she handed her husband the bowl then turned her attention back to the T.V. The next thing she was on the floor being thoroughly tickled.
Maliki had made sure to cushion her body so his arms to the bounce of her head and not the floor. He roared the evil laugh he had taught his kids during bed time stories. His lightning quick hands dashing to Anna’s neck, thighs, tummy, and wrist too fast for her to stop him. Her laughter peeled through the room catching the kids attention.
Deciding combat more interesting than the Red Queen’s roses, Maliki and Makayla jumped in to tickle attack Anna’s feet.
After nightlights flickered on and good nights had been passed out to Maliki, Makayla, Bubba the monkey and Fee fee the unicorn Alix and Anna sat at the little round kitchen table, in the glow of the stove light, sipping pale wine. Alex absently rubbed one of the feet Anna had propped on his legs. He studied his love, with her head tipped back, eyes closed, a slight smile on her lips. He cherished this time they took every night to relax together.
“Anna?”
“Hmmm?”
“You know why a raven is like a writing desk?”
Opening her eyes, she grinned at her husband. Not unlike the Cheshire cat, he thought. “No. Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“They both have quills.”
She giggled and decided wine, a foot rub and silly talk with Alix was the absolute best way to unwind.
“Poe wrote on both?” she suggested.
“Because both has a B and Neither has an N?” he returned.
He’d puzzled her, he could see it. Her head tilted to the left slightly, as if she were rolling thoughts around up there. Her eyes clouded, grey creeping into her brilliant blue. “Huh?”
“You’ll get it, my love. You’ll get it, eventually.” Placing her feet on the tile floor, he rose and held out a hand to her. “ Let’s go to bed.”
Anna emptied her glass, placed her hand in his, and walked with him upstairs.
**A source I referenced: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1173/why-is-a-raven-like-a-writing-desk
WP#3- "LOOK! BIRDS!"
"Look! Birds!"
The excited shout from their seven year old brother startled Ashley and Todd Meadly out of yet another argument. John leaned over the railing that surrounded the local park's pond. His eyes lit with joy, his delicate blond hair blew around his face. Funny, Ashley hadn't noticed how bad he needed a haircut before now. His round cheeks were pink from the kiss of fall winds, his smile innocent as only a kid's can be.
"Look. He's having real fun now and it's been too long since he had it. Let's drop it and we'll talk about this after he's asleep." Without waiting for an answer Ashley went to join John at the rail. Todd stood, hands stuff in his pockets, watching them while he gained control of his frustration. As she stood there telling little John about ducks, laughing as their tail feathers went up and their head below the surface, he was struck again by their resemblance to each other and to his parents.
It was mom's blond hair they shared. Her nose that turned up a bit at the ends. Ashley had inherited mom's eye shape, but that green, the way they lit with every emotion, was all dad. It looked like John would have that slight clef in his chin. Dad always thought his as very manly. Todd didn't know weather to laugh or cry. It was like a punch to the gut, he decided. You knew it was coming, but that didn't make it hurt less. He'd laugh about dad's kwirks some other time.
"Hey, John-John. You wanna give those ducks a bread snack?"
With John cheerfully quaking between, Ashley and Todd's gazes met over his head. Yeah, Ashley thought, they were no where near done fighting.
Ashley paced the living room fighting the urge to yank at her hair. After they'd finished visiting the park they'd had dinner, came home and tucked John in. Though McDonald's was John's favorite place, it was the third time they had eaten there this week. And it was only Thursday. Like it or not she and Todd were going to have to start feeding John something nutritional.
Taking three deep breaths Ashley sat on the couch, pulled a Snickers bar out of her pocket and took a fortifying bite.
"Todd, please calm down. I hardly think my having a boyfriend is anything for you to be so upset about.I'm not running off to get married."
"Now is a bad time for you to be worrying about any kind of social life, Ashley. You can't just shirk responsibilities, here. You have to pitch in." Todd sat on the coffee table, so he could face her, and bit off some of her candy bar. Her glare almost made him smile, but the headache tap dancing through is skull kept the spot light.
"I have been pitching in and I will continue to do so." He opened his mouth to speak, but she needed her say. She leaned forward in earnest, straining to make him understand. "No, shut up a minute. I'm going to school, I'm working the phones at that deplorable lawyers office, I'm sharing in the house work, I gave up drama and volunteering. What else is it you want me to do? Huh?"
For the first time in months he saw it. His vibrant, energizer bunny of a sister was strained and running low. There were shadows showing under her eyes, a pallor in her cheeks now that the day's make up was wearing off. He wanted to comfort, to smooth this whole thing over, but he was right. It didn't matter anyway, she barreled on before he could speak.
"Nick is a good guy, Todd. It's not like I'm shirking my responsibilities to run off with him. we she each other at the office. He's an intern, for Christ sakes! He has even less free time than I do. I need someone....someone neutral to talk to, to forget about life's difficulties with for a little while. If I can't have that I'll go crazy. Slowly, quietly crazy."
"Ha! You've never been quiet about anything." Her answering smile didn't reach her eyes. "I'm not saying you're irresponsible or that you can't talk to someone other than me, but, Damn-it Ashley, it doesn't look good We have John. He's our responsibility now..."
"I know that."
"You don't act like it some times. I know you're only 17 and I know having to do what your 18 year old brother tells you to grates on your nerves sometimes, but It doesn't matter. We make sacrifices. I dropped out of law school, took on two jobs. I help around here too. The court made me responsible and you act like it doesn't matter, like nothing's changed...."
But that was as far as he got. That was the straw that broke her back and unleashed sweet, well raised Ashley's temper. In one swift move she shoved Todd backwards, off the coffee table and was on her feet vibrating with fury. Her eyes went from the color of soft spring fields to bright, polished emeralds.
"You think I don't remember mom and dad are dead! they're DEAD! And, what? You think I forgot?" she raged, her breathing heavy.
Todd stood now, slowly. Perhaps he'd chosen the wrong words. He watched the fire in her eyes frost over. Only then did he see below the anger to the hurt. Yeah, he thought, way to go big bro.
" Or do you just think I don't care?" she whispered.
They stood in taunt silence, staring at one another. It had been 8 months since their parents had been shot for cash and a few baubles. Whoever killed them for so few items never knew they were on their way back to the Jag William Meadly had saved half his life for. The court dates for custody, the social workers regular visits, the stress rubbed their grief raw.
Todd had wanted to be a lawyer. He rarely found himself at a loss for words, as he did now. He didn't think he could share the grief. It'd surely rip him apart. He had no words to take her grief and feared the burden to heavy in any case. The picture of John's happy face today floated in his mind. A direct contrast to his sister's devastated one. She stared at him, waiting.
"Look. Birds."
Ashley cocked her head to the side, utter confusion clear on her face. After 10 long seconds of silences she gave a strangled laugh. "What?"
"Birds."
"What in all God's creation are you talking about?"
Maybe it was her confusion and you've-lost-your-mind look. Maybe it was the stress of the past 8 months. Maybe it was the break his Statement had caused in the tight wire tension in the room. Maybe he really was crazy. Whatever the reason, Todd cracked up. He laughed until it spread to Ashley. They laughed until they forgot why they were laughing. Which touched off more laughter. They laughed until they collapsed to the floor together.
From that night on, whenever too much tension crackled in the air too long or the moment was too quiet, too awkward, one of the Meadlys would say "Look! Bird!"
sorry for any mistakes, my comps keys are sticking. :)
Random thought into words:
How do you get past it
What determines family?
Surely it's not only the blood that runs in our veins, but the feelings that pump through our hearts.
Family tends to be the most influential in our lives, right? Do we not crave their attention, their approval, their love more desperately than others we meet along the way? They have the power to make us crazy happy with a simple gesture and break our hearts with a careless word or action.
It's said we tend to hurt the ones we love the most. Perhaps that's because when you love you open your heart to everything.
So, how do you find that line of too far when you love. How do you move past hurt to forgiveness. Prayer seems the best solution. What about when that doesn't to work?
What is the answer when someone you love, a family member, someone you grew up with, admired, craved approval and pride from...What happens when they cut you so deep you have a hard time forgiving. Stuck in a place where you know you could never hate them, never truly turn away from them if their need was great, yet unable to move on, move past a hurt that has drawn blood from the heart you wear on your sleeve for them.
Worse, what do you do when the last thing between you is a bone of contention, hurt and unresolved resentment?
Take it as a lesson, perhaps?
"I've heard it said/ that people come into our lives/ for a reason/ bringing something we must learn/ and we are lead/ to those/ who help/ us most to grow/ if we let them/ and we help them in return./ Well, I don't know if I believe that's true/ but I know I'm who I am today/ because I knew you.../
~"For Good" from Wicked~
Is that what we are to do? Take the good and the bad as lessons learned? Surely, it's an intelligent notion. One I can't and don't want to argue with. But is that is? If we are raped? If we are abused? If we are betrayed in the deepest? Is that all? It was a lesson? Move on.
How? How do you get past the hurt, the pain, the shame, the anger?
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