Monday, June 20, 2011

Bad news leads to rewrite

So far my blogs have mainly revolved around writing. Many will continue to do so, but this blog is also about my family life. It often affects my writing after all.

Anyone whose checked out my works in progress has seen the first novel I ever began on was spun off my fear that my husband, a U.S. Marine, would be mortally wounded in Afghanistan.
Today I found my fingers flying across the pages I have already written and adding more. All because of a call I received around 10:30 this morning. (She Waits- a poem from and for the military spouse)
The call that stopped my breath and had my control wavering.

My husband was hurt. Three and a half hours prior to that call my husband was doing his job and received shrapnel in his legs and arm due to enemy indirect fire for his efforts. One long conversation later, all I really knew was he is hospitalized with what the USMC considers a "serious injury". What is a serious injury, you may wonder. Join the freaking club! "Serious injury" is all I could get. Was he awake or sedated? How bad is the damage? Is there any resulting disability, temporary or life long?

But, no! I'll they apparently know is it's freaking serious!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Step one: Don't fall apart in front of the children.
              Find a balance. Let the know I love daddy and am very sad he is hurt, but reassure them that he's being taken care of. He's ok. And don't let them see me fall apart. I watch my mom, the woman I thought impossibly strong, fall apart, break and it frightened and hurt me. That I can not put on my children. So, hold it together. Hold it together. Hold it together. This is my motto for today and who knows how long.

Step two: Wait excruciatingly, impatiently for information.
             Waiting. I am not sure what is more nerve wracking when waiting for information about a loved one in trouble. So, keep my mind and hands busy. This proves easier than I thought. One of the kids are throwing up green stuff, gotta pay insurance before it's cancelled and take a paper to the doctor to fill out so I can get more baby formula from WIC....Get dinner, keep kids busy and happy.
When a lull presented itself and I found my mind too close to worries best left alone until the kids are in bed, I turned to my writing, but my story of genies, wishes, adventure and love refused to flow. The little I wrote was stilted and confusing. I scraped it. That's when "Warriors" caught my eye. While the kids ate dinner, I felt no hunger myself, the words poured out of my finger tips with passion. I could not stop the out pour if I had wanted to. I didn't. But know the well has dried up and my story id better than before.

Step three: Make it through the day.
                The day is finally done- as far as my kids are concerned. They are asleep and have taken comfort in the dream catcher that hangs in their window. For me, well, a glass of wine awaits. Something I look forward to in what is sure to be an endless, sleepless night.

But again, as most days, my family life has affected my writing. And while I wait and pray for more information, hopefully saying hubby's ok, my writing will help keep my mid and fingers busy, getting me through the day.

No comments:

Post a Comment